Trying

I am easily distracted.

I think that is an understatement seeing how I'm actually seriously busy at work nowadays and still find the time to blog (ironically restart to blog), facebook and have a offline social life. But with all these comes great distractions - some important and welcome (like my family's whatsapp group - full of updates of my little nephews which are extremely important to me), and some not so.

So I find myself greatly inspired by a friend, Mr Middle (Tiong!) and trying to refocus my life. I've started with the numerous cards in my wallet. Friends who, well, don't call me friends anymore as well. I have rediscovered the beauty of peace on the bus, and will probably stop bringing my iPad out. I've changed back to the crappy Nokia phone with its excellent battery life and will bring my earphones out. My headphones will stay in the smoking room for my reading sessions.

I will continue to go out and connect with my friends. That is important to me. Discovering and rediscovering bands have been a nice unintended surprise this year, and I won't stop. In fact I intend to go baybeats this year and rock out for 3 awesome days. I also have a list of things I want to do, and well, I don't see the point of sharing it, but I have been slowly checking them off. I've picked up salsa, and won't stop despite my instructor's bruised feet; I'm going to rent a trombone and have contacted some community bands to see if I can participate; I'm also starting to write again - you can see that (or at least, I try.)

2012 has been a year of disappointments and pleasant surprises. I've lost friends and gained new ones. I've settled into a somewhat acceptable but awkward plateau in life, and it's up to me to decide if I roll off it or climb onto the next. I hope this refocus works. While I've discarded many things this year - from clothes that don't fit to broken shoes, I've also picked up new fitting clothes and we all know my penchant for black heels. I want to do that for life as well.

I found a job I really like with a salary that isn't too bad in a company that is excellent. I remember my low periods of struggle, whether in the consultancy firm or in the catering company, and I know I am really happy here. I will need to work really hard to keep this, seeing how it is only a contract job, but this is one chance I need to grab. I'm readjusting relationships with my friends and family, having faith that my really good friends are there for me. As thick-skinned as it sounds, no, I don't really need to find new friends. If that chemistry happens, good for us. But I'm quite happy with my current set of friends. They are here for me regardless of what I do, where I am, and how I've skinned someone alive how I've dug myself into ruts. They love me for me. And you can't beat that.

Sometimes when life gives you lemons, I say, make vodka lemonade! And at least I know in life... sometimes trying is good enough. And I'm trying. I really am.