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I've been aching to write.

It's been happening for a while now. While I sulk at my talented friends for having an outlet to play, write and perform, I struggle to finish my own masterpiece, knowing that it is a long drawn and lonely process. But blogging, I can. (Ok, it matters to me whether anyone reads this, but at least I'm not just talking to myself in my head.)

I wonder how some writers get their inspiration. I believe that practice matters - the more you write, the better you are. This would explain how (I think) I was a much better writer at age 15 than 30. I am incredibly talented and witty... in my head. I make myself smile when I am walking home from the bus stop, usually when my iPod runs out of music. But the truth is that I swing from verbal diarrhoea (I had trouble spelling that word) to writer's block. My best moments are unplanned and hence undocumented. This works for me sometimes - you got to take my word for it!

And I'm done writing about the grandeurs of life, deep meaningful passages of crap where #idon'tgiveafuck plays a huge part in the reader's mind. No, I'm done. You're stuck reading the inane and insane trash that will come out of my chaotic brain, words sometimes so forced that you could tell I'm trying to piece a sentence together. This usually happens when I am trying to write.

But this is not one of those days.

It is interesting though. You can tell one's style, but I'm too lazy to go into detail, and again, you have to take my word for how brilliant and witty and awesome that probably forever unwritten passage got to be. If this piece is on kickstarter, man, I will be rich on good thoughts alone. But the real world is a little different, and you are not psychic. I'm still lazy though.

How does one write? I mean, how do writers, columnists, lyricists, musicians et al spew word after word, sentence after sentence? Each verse meaningful (at least got some sort of meaning la) or deep interpretation of life? I am curious, and I struggle. I find writing short stories much easier - my unfinished after 1 whole year and more novella the best example - and yet I can still run out of juice. There's always some excuse we can find, isn't it? I'm not emo enough, I'm too emo, I don't have the equipment, I can't work on company's laptop, my tablet/netbook is too uncomfortable (never mind I bought it just for writing), I'm not inspired enough, I don't have the right feel, this story sucks... But as I said before, writing needs to be practised. It is a mental muscle we must flex, and of course when the stars align, like today, writing gets a tad less crappy.

Creation is indeed a wondrous thing. My friends create tune after tune, verse after verse. It is amazing that they can create something out of nothing. I like to write alternative lyrics or parody lyrics, but it's a lot easier because you have a base to work off from. Not so much tunes, even lyrics is easier to get the starting inspiration. You broke my heart, you bastard. I shall write the emo lyrics of "You broke my heart, you bastard." But how does one spin a tune from this? Take inspiration from where? I know you can, but how? Some scientist once evaluated the success of Adele's songs - Minor chords, crushing crescendos and single vocals with no music in one 4 minute song can make your heart soar and fall with it. (Google it, you lazy bastard.) But how does it work? You broke my heart, you bastard. I shall write a tune with Em and Am chords. Tak match leh...

So while I sit there gawking at the awesomeness of some musicians, mostly local, many now friends, I jealously dissect their approach. Who what where when how? But I know that while I enviously admire their ability to create and have an outlet for their passion, a lot of hard work - and you can hear it, and I respect that a shitload - is always put in. I always hear them say "this is the 4th million draft of the song, it didn't quite work out the first 3,999,999 times" but I am still amazed at their very first, apparently shitty draft. Well, some we don't have to mention. Those with talent oozing out of their ears - those are just inhuman. God is not fair - I take that back, they probably suffered for it like Vincent Van Gogh. Kinda sorta, without the ear cutting part - and there are still some musicians (I use this medium as an example because I've been lazily listening to music more than reading) that, with every performance, I want to kiss their feet more. Some that are so awesome, it takes more than one listening to unfold their awesomeness. Others because they keep getting awesomer. Some are like those skinny chicks who want their boobs concave into their body to hit the perfect figure - always aiming to better themselves, knowing that perfection is never attainable but always a good aim to try to reach. I have no respect for lazy musicians who waste their talent and opportunity to stand on that stage, not with other more deserving talents waiting.

It is the same for writing. You know, like the movie Inception? Where every time you watch it you figure out something new? It's similar to how I feel with some writing: stories, tunes, lyrics, novels, commentaries, columns etc etc. There are some songs that I find new meanings and realise for the first time what it means after hearing it for the 3384th time. There are some books that I will want to read, again and again (though I don't read enough, apart from work emails, RFPs and twitter). I haven't read enough classics, and there you have these increasingly inconsiderate artists and writers who keep releasing new work, much faster than I can finish the ones on hand. Assholes. Tsk. I'm still ploughing through The Beatles! Come on!

Apparently today's mode is Verbal Diarrhoea.

So in any case, I've been aching to write. I could write more, I feel like just stupidly typing on and on and on (kinda doing that now), but I know that too much of a good thing *cough* isn't good for us. So well, no.

Let's see how long this "streak" lasts. If it's anything like my current track record, you might see the next post in 6 months. Let's hope not!
See ya soon :)

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